Intellectual rape

Cut to a well lit room...rows and rows young adults perched on desks. There are a few people monitoring them and making sure there is no foul play. No, it is not National Sudoku Championship. It is the main entrance test to the hallowed portals of technical education, running amok, pot-smoking, vodka guzzling, cruise through coursework as a result of extremely above-average intelligence, or simply put, the IITs. In one corner, we can see an eighteen year old guy frowning over his question paper, scratching every body part socially non-reprehensible struggling over a sum involving calculus applied to gravitation and surface tension all at once. Don't feel too sorry for him though; in four years, he will be at best, at MIT or a corporate finance genius, or at worst working at a high post in a smaller company. Well, he is smart and bright, so why not. But, oh look at the struggle writing this exam! Unbelievable! There is however another student who will catch your gaze: a cool customer, casually staring at his Tag Heuer watch, with the wrinkles in his Levis premade and the cluster of gold rings on his fingers making him uncomfortable. There is a shiny certificate near his hall ticket: a non-creamy layer certificate bought for the price of one meal at Noorani. It is this certificate that makes him so cool. How? Well, the odds arranged his way make the same complex head scratching question turn into, "How many toes do you have?"

The Indian Supreme Court has done it again. Bent over and let the minorities have their way with it. It has granted a 27% quota for OBC students at the prestigious IITs and IIMs. It is a very old statistic that IIT on an average, spends Rs 1 crore on each student. I am sure that the number has increased now. When I invest money in something, I would like it to be something that has the best chance of success. I am a little crazy that way! Why stop here? Let us give the entire IIT to the OBC, Scheduled Castes, Schedule Tribes, Nomadic Tribes and anyone else who wants an admission in a way other than merit. Earlier, identifying someone as an IITian automatically conferred upon him an appearance of intelligence. It was mostly justified too. There were some exceptions though. By exceptions I mean those students who were prenatally studying for their entrance so that by the time the exam dawns upon them, they know nothing other than the syllabus, and every possible question with its answer by rote. They represent a form of debased scum that should be despised too. But at least they earn their admission by an honorable form of trickery...hard work till you drop! Even that is better than walking in with pride just because your great great grandfather was not allowed to study by the persecuting Brahmans, after which he started a business which has prospered and allows him to employ the descendants of those very Brahmans.

In short, if you are driving down personally to your exam center and getting a short-cut into IIT, there is a grave miscarriage of justice. I know what you might say, what about those backward students who are studying under a municipality lightbulb? Well...all I can say is that let us subsidize their education upto XII. After they pass that, they are on their own. We will give them scholarships and fee waivers if they get in, but they are on their own until they get into IIT. But, who listens to me rave and rant? There is an idea though. We can start a private college which takes people in based on their aptitude and their willingness to pursue a particular course. Something like the universities which ask you to provide a personal statement. Most of all, we need an intelligence test and the government must promise to hire the very best who graduate from such a college and pay them competitive salaries. Just ask the netas set aside one month's worth of the money they scam from the people! Should be enough. If you want to build bridges that won't fall, or want a drainage system that won't collapse after short burst of rain (quite akin to the tears Lata Mangeshkar sheds when you hint at building a flyover anywhere in 3Km radius around Pedder Road), you will need to hire the top students from the technical schools. Earlier that job was slightly easier as the good colleges only admitted you on merit. Just head to the reputed college and start interviewing. You will find some people to your liking. Now, with colleges being forced to open back doors to "backward classes", there are no guarantees. All these charades are done to remove any hint of caste bias from our minds. In fact, the very target of this should be leveling the playing field so that no one will even think of which caste a person is.

The irony is that this rush of reservation has caused the following conversation:

A: What college did you graduate from?

B: IIT Delhi A: open quota? B (almost inaudibly): OBC

A: Oh!

And this will lead to the ultimate intellectual rape of the IITs and actually level the playing field between IIT and that paanwallah college you pass by while going for your favorite vada pav!