Giving in

I opened the door and went in

With a guilt inexplicable within

To get something I knew I wanted

By giving in to temptations undaunted

 

The old lady saw me and smiled

She knew what I had come for

She knew how much I resisted coming

And yet she knew I would come

 

There was finality in her glance

As if she knew I had no chance

Of limiting myself, of tethering myself

Or even regulating pleasuring myself

 

She made an expression of disapproval

Almost as if she hoped I would

Not walk down this path again

She considered me with disdain

 

I told her what I was looking for

She motioned me to a corner unseen before

I went obediently and stood aside

To let hedonism and control collide

With a clear winner, as always

Favoring pleasure over malaise

 

I took what I wanted, the heathen pleasure

A satisfaction I felt beyond measure

During my vulgar enjoyment of my fill

I saw no one, remembered nothing, and felt nevermore

 

When I was done I considered myself

With utter rebuke, and some pity

For self-control and discipline

Were disappearing from my repertoire

 

I exited the place with anger

Chiding myself for bringing

The inevitable misfortune one must expect

After a meal at Burger King